Outside my window, I hear the playful screams of children on this early Sunday morning. 
And I wonder why I cannot feel freedom the way they feel anymore.

I have learned through the years to dread the words that fall from your tongue.
Am I to you, but a doll in your sadistic game of house?
Can’t you see what you are doing to me?
With every breath I take, I whimper in pain as the chambers of my heart continue to shatter.
This is what I have become.
This is what you have made me.
Miserable.

Don’t tell me
That you miss me.
And cancel our plans.
Don’t tell me
That I’m drifting.
It’s all in your hands.
Don’t tell me
That you’re hurting.
I’ve tried
To help you mend.
Don’t tell me,
Don’t tell me.
You’ve ruined your chance.

As night grew fonder,
I tossed and turned.
Awake I lay,
In your visions blur.
As night grew fonder,
I fell to sleep.
And in my dreams,
You haunted me.

I just needed somebody to be there.
Why couldn’t you be there?
I have come so far.
I have healed so much.
Though still, it is too much.
I buried my face into my knees,
As the thoughts spun like a tornado, round and round in my head.
Oh, I feel so alone.
Why? Why couldn’t you be there?
At my weakest point?
I cannot see through this
thickening wall of tears.
I cannot breathe through these
endless gasps for air.
I cannot mend
without you here.